sleepless
I don't know how many people actually frequent my blog - my guess is that I can probably count all of them on a hand. And you probably know who you are anyway. But I'll bet anything that none of them know that I haven't been able to sleep well at all for the last month-and-a-half or so. Well, judging from last night's/today's sleep, I rarely sleep. I went to bed at 0045 hrs, but I got up at 0245 hrs, and I've been awake since then. I lay in bed from 0245 hrs till around 0430 hrs, and I started getting really restless. One can only lay in bed for that long.
So I got up, watched some really early Saturday morning cartoons, and thought I'd do a little reading up on sleep disorders. It's pretty clear that I'm afflicted with at least one. After all, somehow or the other, I've been going to bed around 3 in the morning, but only falling asleep at around 7 am. It's rather grim. So far, Wikipedia hasn't proved useful, and I don't have my encyclopedia or my medical books to check. I have a gut feeling that I'm having trouble adjusting to Daylight Savings Time, and thus likely to be suffering from DSPS (Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome), or non-24-hour sleep-wake syndrome - or some other weird unlisted form of circadian rhythm sleep disorder. Or maybe it's really a combination of some weird sleep syndrome, anxiety in the Kierkegaardian sense ('anguish' to Sartre), and a mind that is so conditioned to thinking that it doesn't know when to rest.
It's just really strange. I don't feel sleepy (but I yawn, and I feel like lying down), and when I lie in bed, all I can feel is the bed, my pillow, and a few veins/arteries in my head throbbing with an all-too-regular beat that pisses me right off. My mind just becomes (or already is) exceedingly sharp, and my thoughts clear. I start thinking about the weirdest things: two or three nights ago, I was thinking about the differences between medieval European swords and Japanese katanas. And guess what? I could actually tell the difference... the former are usually more favored towards a thrusting blow, and less towards a slashing one, while the katana (because of its raised central groove and curve) is excellent for slashing but isn't all that suited to stabbing someone. See what I mean?
Right now, it's 0742 hrs on an overcast June 03 morning, and I can hear a jackhammer in the distance somewhere. I'm feeling absolutely wide awake, and totally wishing that I was asleep right now.
In any case, if you're reading this, and you know of some - heck, ANY - possible help that I could use to get me to sleep for a good 6-8 hours, let me know. It'll be too greatly appreciated.
So I got up, watched some really early Saturday morning cartoons, and thought I'd do a little reading up on sleep disorders. It's pretty clear that I'm afflicted with at least one. After all, somehow or the other, I've been going to bed around 3 in the morning, but only falling asleep at around 7 am. It's rather grim. So far, Wikipedia hasn't proved useful, and I don't have my encyclopedia or my medical books to check. I have a gut feeling that I'm having trouble adjusting to Daylight Savings Time, and thus likely to be suffering from DSPS (Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome), or non-24-hour sleep-wake syndrome - or some other weird unlisted form of circadian rhythm sleep disorder. Or maybe it's really a combination of some weird sleep syndrome, anxiety in the Kierkegaardian sense ('anguish' to Sartre), and a mind that is so conditioned to thinking that it doesn't know when to rest.
It's just really strange. I don't feel sleepy (but I yawn, and I feel like lying down), and when I lie in bed, all I can feel is the bed, my pillow, and a few veins/arteries in my head throbbing with an all-too-regular beat that pisses me right off. My mind just becomes (or already is) exceedingly sharp, and my thoughts clear. I start thinking about the weirdest things: two or three nights ago, I was thinking about the differences between medieval European swords and Japanese katanas. And guess what? I could actually tell the difference... the former are usually more favored towards a thrusting blow, and less towards a slashing one, while the katana (because of its raised central groove and curve) is excellent for slashing but isn't all that suited to stabbing someone. See what I mean?
Right now, it's 0742 hrs on an overcast June 03 morning, and I can hear a jackhammer in the distance somewhere. I'm feeling absolutely wide awake, and totally wishing that I was asleep right now.
In any case, if you're reading this, and you know of some - heck, ANY - possible help that I could use to get me to sleep for a good 6-8 hours, let me know. It'll be too greatly appreciated.
NIGEL
7:34 PM
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