wondering

I wonder who I'm supposed to talk to regarding things that I hold close to me. Sometimes I can't help but feel all alone. No one seems to understand me for who I am, and love me for that. I know my parents do, but I also know that they don't appreciate the fact that I want to continue studying philosophy - or that I chose philosophy over computer science/computer engineering.

I've been thinking a lot about things (if you know what I mean) recently. I still miss her, and wonder what it'll be like to still be with her. Or to have her come visit Montreal in summer. But I know all this is over, nor will anything come to fruition. I just have to try and accept that it's over. I guess I just can't let it go - not when it still hurts each time I think about her. It still truly bites.

In any case, I'm trying to immerse myself in things just to take my mind off things. But yet, I keep turning on my computer each morning hoping to hear from her, or occasionally turning on my SG cellphone to see if there might be an SMS. Silly, huh? Especially with all my talk of letting it go. *shrugs* What can I say? I'm merely human after all.

I suppose it all takes time... and there must be some truth in that old adage, that time heals everything. But it's been almost 6 months (probably slightly longer), and I'm still stuck there. I don't talk about it to anyone anymore, nor did I talk much about what happened. I think I was just trying to gloss it over with a laugh and a smile - didn't quite work. Heh.

Still, as always, life goes on.