reflections
It's been quite a while since 'we' became 'you and I'. It's been pretty odd too... waking up each morning not knowing what to do, except turn on my computer and see what's going on in my friends' lives. Somehow I can't help but wonder if reading blogs is peeking into someone's life. Kinda like scuba diving, you know? Venturing into some unknown realm... it reminds me of what Woody Allen said in one of his movies (I think it's Annie Hall): "I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me." (Just in case you think it's not funny, it is extremely funny if you're a philosophy student. It's just like that joke about Descartes at a bar...)
I've been doing a lot of thinking recently (no surprise there, I am in Philosophy after all)... I wondered about why I loved you. You're strong, honest (I don't have to play head games with you: 'no' means no, and 'yes' means yes - and I really appreciate that), funny - lame at times, but still funny... and most importantly, I never for one moment doubted whether you loved me for who I am. I was surprised that you could accept that philosophy is just as important to me, because as far as I know, most girls probably would think I'm a nerd/geek. Well, maybe you do... but I wouldn't care. You stood by me when I was down from arguing with 'my parents', and helped me search for philosophy books even while you were on vacation. I know that you're not into philosophy at all... so the fact that you put in effort to find them like minutes before the typhoon arrived means a lot to me. A lot.
But I guess there's too many differences in what we want in life. Fact is, what you want and what I want are direct contradictions. The more I think about it, the more I absolutely don't want to live in Singapore. It just drives me crazy. I don't have access to philosophy journals or books (they cost a bomb), or access to the people that I can discuss philosophy with. I can't accept the educational system, nor do I agree with national service.
OK, I'm stopping here. Blogger lost my post TWICE. I'm blogging more another day.
I've been doing a lot of thinking recently (no surprise there, I am in Philosophy after all)... I wondered about why I loved you. You're strong, honest (I don't have to play head games with you: 'no' means no, and 'yes' means yes - and I really appreciate that), funny - lame at times, but still funny... and most importantly, I never for one moment doubted whether you loved me for who I am. I was surprised that you could accept that philosophy is just as important to me, because as far as I know, most girls probably would think I'm a nerd/geek. Well, maybe you do... but I wouldn't care. You stood by me when I was down from arguing with 'my parents', and helped me search for philosophy books even while you were on vacation. I know that you're not into philosophy at all... so the fact that you put in effort to find them like minutes before the typhoon arrived means a lot to me. A lot.
But I guess there's too many differences in what we want in life. Fact is, what you want and what I want are direct contradictions. The more I think about it, the more I absolutely don't want to live in Singapore. It just drives me crazy. I don't have access to philosophy journals or books (they cost a bomb), or access to the people that I can discuss philosophy with. I can't accept the educational system, nor do I agree with national service.
OK, I'm stopping here. Blogger lost my post TWICE. I'm blogging more another day.
NIGEL
2:16 PM
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